There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
