Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
