U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Randomize
