All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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