dude i'm inner monologue high
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
