I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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