Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
