I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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