ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
not ubering you a puppy
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
