Just fell off a train. Bad.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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