Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
