My friends, they love my intelligence
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Quick, to the slutcave!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
