Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
