I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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