the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
