It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
