Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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