Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
