speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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