just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
