I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
