I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
