so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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