your parents love me but you hate me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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