I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
