try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
