u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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