What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
