Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
