The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
