if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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