So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
