It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
