So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
