we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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