Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
