Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
