You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
