We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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