God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He kissed a someone with a penis
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
