Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
