Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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