...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
