Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She announced her abortion via fbk
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
