Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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