Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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