he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
