My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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