It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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