My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
