scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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