You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
