I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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